October 5th, 2018 at 3:21PM

Hi, sweetie. It's mom... Still don't know why I remind you of that every time. I'm also pretty sure I say something about this basically every time I call. Jesus, I need a new routine. Anyway, haven't heard from you in a while, and we're starting to get worried. We know that work is crazy, but that doesn't mean y-- (The phone rattles, there's a mess of noise.) Hey, kiddo. Your mom is a paranoid crazy person. I am not, Alex! We both know how dange-- Will you please be quiet? I'm talking to my daughter. Call us when you can. OOF! Damnit, Wanda, did you really just hit me with a pillo-- (The phone drops. The message goes on like this for another two minutes before ending.)
Call Back
The Sex Was Terrible
Hey cutie.
How's it going?
Oh, god.
You said that a lot last night. πŸ˜‰
What's that all about?
You weren't complaining last night.
Wasn't I?
But maybe that's 'cause you had my dick in your mouth.
You were way prettier then.
Didn't talk back as much.
If you text me again, I'll break all your fingers and make sure you choke on your own balls. Do us both a favor and lose my number, you fucking neandrethal.
Sorry I haven't called you back, shit's been crazy. It's not really an excuse, I'm just dealing with a lot.
It's okay, sweetie. Everything okay?
Honestly? Not really, but it's manageable.
You wanna talk about it?
Not particularly.
I'm a good listener.
Yeah, you are. But I don't think you want to hear about how I word vomited my carefully bottled feelings, then went out and proceeded to get drunk, and fuck some random bar douche to make myself feel better.
... Have you forgotten who you're talking to, child of mine?
I don't necessarily want to hear about your sexcapades, but I want to make sure my little girl is okay.
Don't tell your father, though, he'll lose his mind.
I wasn't planning on it.
You guys mind a last minute visit? I can be there by dinner time.
The door is unlocked. Brutus will be happy to see you, the mutt misses you.
Roxy Winston
You think you can watch the Theodore and the cat for a couple days?
Theodore is the bear dog, right?
I mean, obviously yes, but that is the dog, right?
Haha, yes, he's the bear dog.
Everything alright?
Yeah, I'm fine. Why does everyone keep asking me that?
Because you're never actually fine when you say you're fine.
I promise, everything is alright. I'm just going to see my parents for a couple days. Nothing earth shattering is happening, and I have a steady grip on reality. I'm absolutely, 100% fine. Stop worrying.
Okay. I don't believe you, but okay.
liked by thewandawatson, poprox and 41 others
dearwatson Decided to make a last minute trip to see my parents. The first thing I did when I got there? Snuggled with Brutus.
View all 2 comments
thewandawatson He's glad to see you.
dearwatson It's the most wonderful time of the year...
View all 10 comments
Hail to the Pumpkin King

This is Halloween
Jonathon Young β€’ Young Does Disney 1

Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)
Type O Negative β€’ Bloody Kisses

Trick or Treat
Nekromantix β€’ Return of the Loving Dead

Werewolf Shame
Direct Hit! β€’ More of the Same

Science Fiction Double Feature
Me First & The Gimme Gimmes β€’ Are a Drag

Nightmare on My Street
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince β€’ He's...

Hybrid Moments
Misfits β€’ Static Age

Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)
Concrete Blonde β€’ Bloodletting

Dead Man's Party
Oingo Boigo β€’ Dead Man's Party

Season of the Witch
Donovan β€’ Sunshine Superman

Plan 9 Channel 7
The Damned β€’ Machine Gun Etiquette

(She's My) Vampire Girl β€’ Groovie Ghoulies